Guest blogger: My sweet friend, Kelsie Hinders
Kelsie is the Prevention Coordinator for the Campus Alcohol and Drug Education Center at Chico State. She is a proud dog mom, AOII, wine connoisseur, and overall, one of my favorite humans.
I love personality tests. I think they are a great way to get to know yourself and the people you work with.
So here’s a little bit about me:
My Strengths: Harmony, Consistency, Learner, Achiever, Responsibility
My Myer’s-Briggs: ISTJ
My Pottermore: Ravenclaw
My Five Love Languages: Words of Affirmation
The Five Love Languages is one of my favorite personality tests. I was first introduced to it back in high school and it’s one of the only tests I haven’t gotten tired of. I love how versatile it is. It’s something I’ve brought up in conversations with friends, my partner and at work.
So, how does my love language, Words of Affirmation, play out?
It could be a quick “good job” written on an assignment or a high score. I thrived on the positive reinforcement in the classroom. I put in the effort it took to get those scores but the idea that my teacher recognized the hard work I put in always made me feel even better about it. Words of Affirmation in my life have always played out in a variety of ways-both positive and negative. It’s a driving force behind my perfectionist tendencies and a guide for me to reach out to others. I wanted to both feel good about the work I was doing and help others feel the same.
The sorority experience can definitely add to the stress of college. When I was the president of my sorority, I liked to lead activities that gave sisters the space to feel appreciated and encourage each other. Small acts of kindness like writing little notes to put in Encouragement Bags or giving ‘Roses’ by sharing a positive thing about sisters at the end of meetings were always encouraged. Words of Affirmation may not be everyone’s love language, but it definitely brightens up the day to get a nice note out of the blue.
I started a new job in February and my office focuses on themes each month: Sassy February, Nice March, Punny April, etc. As we were going into Nice March, I asked everyone to take the Five Love Languages test during one of our weekly staff meetings. It prepped us well for the month ahead and helped us to best show appreciation for each other.
One of the best lessons I learned from one of my college bosses was the idea that feedback was a gift. Most people love getting positive feedback (especially for someone with a love language like Words of Affirmation). But I’ve come to appreciate constructive feedback as well. To me, it’s a great reminder that the person providing the feedback cares enough about me and what I’m doing to help me grow and be the best form of myself.
My Fiancé and I are currently doing the long-distance thing. When he first graduated from college, we were long distance for a year before I moved out to Indiana to be with him. Fast forward three years, I’m back in California (yaaassss!!!) but he’s still in Indiana (insert sad face here). Being in a long-distance relationship is tough but I will say it’s a little easier for me with my love language being Words of Affirmation.
For me, a phone call or even a text makes a world of difference. The notes help me feel loved and connected with him even when we’re 2,000+ miles apart. A random I love you text can completely turn my day around. We’ve been together long enough to know we don’t have to text all day, every day but he’s good at making it known when he’s thinking of me. It’s still not easy but I know it would be much harder if my love language was Personal Touch or Quality Time.
In friendship and family...
I have what I call my “box of affirmations.” I fill it with notes and cards from friends, family and coworkers. When I’m having a tough time and my anxiety is high, I’ll pull it out and look through some of the kind words my family and friends have shared. I also keep a few of the notes at my desk. I may not read them every day but seeing them there is just a simple reminder that my friends and family are always there for me.
So, who in your life shares a love language of Words of Affirmation? Send them a kind word or give them a meaningful compliment-it has the power to turn their whole day around!
Written while sipping a cup of Cinnamon Dulce coffee and re-watching Harry Potter for the millionth time. Because HP is life.